Disturbance.

I never thought that this was going to happen. I didn’t even think this was a possibility.
Ladies and gentlemen, with no further ado I want to tell you that Disney has bought Lucasfilm.

I’m going to let that sink in for a moment because these are big news.

Ready for the next mind-blowing piece?

A seventh episode is scheduled to be released in 2015!
Now, honestly, I’m not sure how to react to this.
A lot of people seem upset and more importantly ask the question “Why?”. To paraphrase George Lucas he said that he wants to expand the Star Wars franchise for a new generation. Not only fans but filmmakers as well.

Star Wars has always been a majestic franchise will it be the movies, shows, video games, board games, clothes, toys and so much more. A franchise that has been milked since the 70’s but I never thought that it would go this far that they would add another movie to its legacy.
That is the piece of information that worries me a bit.
The fact that now Disney owns Lucasfilm isn’t a big deal for me, it’s really not, a specially if you stop and think about it. When Disney bought up Miramax you know what the first movie that came out was? Pulp Fiction. Disney bought Pixar, they seem to be doing quite well and haven’t screwed anything up, although I’m not happy with the strong rumors that they’re making (forcing, really) a Toy Story 4.
A lot of people are worried that they will screw up Star Wars and start abuse it even more; Star Wars-Disney crossover. If they actually make A New Hope or Empire Strikes Back with classic Disney characters I wouldn’t mind to be honest. Because that wouldn’t change anything. It would just be an homage, it’s not like when Family Guy and Robot Chicken made their parody version of the films people raged or got upset, if anything they were thrilled and excited for the next one.
If that doesn’t calm you down even slightly I can tell you this; I’m a Star Wars fan and I’m also a Marvel fan. I reacted quite strongly when I heard the news that Disney bought them but…then again…nothing has really changed. There hasn’t been a crazy movie were Mickey Mouse is Spider-Man. I’d like to quickly mention another movie that has come out since Disney bought Marvel: The Avengers.

The fact that they want to make a new Star Wars episode is the big deal here.
There was a game that came out about 2 years ago called Star Wars: The Force Unleashed that had an interesting story that actually connected the third movie with the fourth. The jist of the story was that Darth Vader sith lord De Joure has a secret apprentice called…ugh…Starkiller that he found as a child when attacking some village but of course Darth kinda uses him and betrays him and Starkiller now wants to kill him and yadda-yadda-yadda, he dies at the end and his family crest becomes the symbol for the Rebel Alliance in the movies. The hint is that it was thanks to him the Rebel Alliance did what they did.
But that was different. That was a game, not everyone played it nor took it seriously because it was more of a “what-if” scenario (at least that’s how I interpreted it).

I just have a hard time wrapping my head around what the seventh movie could be about. See, all of the six movies have a connection to them, in the first to third it’s about a young   Obi Wan Kenobi and his apprentice Anakin Skywalker that eventually chooses the dark side and becomes Darth Vader. Then in the fourth to sixth movie it’s about Luke Skywalker and now, completely re-formed, Darth Vader so it’s hard to even imagine how the seventh one would be, all the actors are old as shit and the sixth movie tied everything together. It was an end.
The big thing that bothers me is that fucking roman number; VII.
It implicates that it will continue the story and yes, Star Wars has a huge history and depth to it with loads of possibilities, so the seventh film might not even center around a Jedi’s struggle, it might be about a bounty hunter like Han Solo or maybe Han when he’s a young teenager and how he met Chewbacca or maybe even the quest of the Tatooine cantina band trying to write a new song and the whole movie becomes a musical.
But that’s unlikely, it will undoubtedly follow another Jedi’s story and I’m fine with that either way because George “Everything I touch is gold” Lucas already destroyed the whole Jedi mythology in the prequel movies to fans with the whole mediclorians shit.
If you’re not a Star Wars fan that’s ok, I will explain it quickly. See when the first movie came out in the 70’s and they introduced the whole Jedi thing to the audience and it was amazing. It was magical, not how they introduced it in the movies but just the thought of it was fantastic that if you trained hard enough and had the willpower you could become a Jedi. This was an amazing thing as a child, I used to sit on my floor and try to move Star Wars toys with my mind and it never worked. But that’s ok, don’t feel sad for me because I got my answer several years later thanks to the prequel films. A Jedi is born a Jedi…they have something in their blood stream, like a gene or some crap, called mediclorians. That was a huge bummer to me, not that I thought I could actually become a fucking Jedi but that they thought they needed to explain it when it already was established really well in the first movies (original trilogy) how it worked.
Yeah, it might not sound like a big deal to you and even a bit pathetic from a grown man but to put in perspective what if it was reveled in say…the Harry Potter films that the reason Harry was so awesome is because he ate broccoli everyday. Would you feel that it was necessary to actually explain to the audience in unwanted detail what and why?
So yeah, it bothers me that they want to continue a saga that is finished.

“For a new generation” he said. Obviously he means kids, that’s what you mean by a new generation and that even boggles my mind even more. If you want a Star Wars movie for a new generation don’t follow up from the sixth one! Call it something else, I even have some suggestions; Star Wars: Jedi’s Adventure, Star Wars: Tales of The Force, Star Wars: Bounty Hunters Quest, Star Wars: When Han met Chewie, Star Wars: The Rise of Greedo, Star Wars: Droids Attack!

UPDATE: Since of yesterday it is confirmed that there will be a seventh episode.
Here’s an insider quote:

Star Wars Episode VII will not be based on any existing Expanded Universe material

Zeus’ nipples! Well then there’s even more reason not to call it “Episode VII” god dammit. Call it something else! Honestly, I know it might sound weird but it does make sense to call it “Star Wars II: Episode I”.

All in all, I am a bit worried mostly because I was brought up with these movies, it’s a part of me so it does feel strange that this is really happening.
However, I haven’t seen it yet, obviously, it might be a great addition to the franchise. But if it all fails we still have the original trilogy that will still, to this day, provide us with many hours of galactic fun and adventure.
May the force be with you.


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Keep calm and carry on…my wayward son.

I finally have something to talk about again!
It’s about music and people…again!

I recently discovered that I have a hard time with “rockers”. You know, the kind I (and probably you) was between the age of 17 and 21.  The kind of people who can only talk about classic rock when on the subject of music and always wants to convert you by going on Youtube and saying “but just listen to this”.
The kind of person who thinks it’s cool to give you the finger in a picture, even though they mean it ironically, they have to do it in a quasi serious way because it is, after all, “rock and/or roll”.
Now, it isn’t fair to point out just the rockers but they are the ones that have made me notice that more and more people are going almost backwards when it comes to music.

When I say backwards I mean that I’ve noticed people defining themselves by the music they’re listening to. It’s nothing new that someone gets inspired by the music style they are listening to but at times it gets overboard. Like, yeah, we get it you like Iron Maiden. You don’t have to make me like them as well unless you get some sort of merchandise discount on recruiting people.
We can still be friends if you accept me not liking them, the same way I accept that you do.
I like rock music but I think that I’m on the other side of the looking-glass when it comes to classic rock; Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Queen, Kansas, The Doors, Eric Clapton, Creedance Clearwater, The Who etc.
Look, I’m fine that people can get passionate about music and that’s good, music is supposed to evoke emotions but when someone gets over-passionate about it they pretty much stop being a person to me and becomes more or less this promotional meat-bag about their favorite genre.

What has triggered me to write about this exactly? Well not only people on Facebook but also this “meltdown” video of Green Day’s lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong. 
If you haven’t seen it it’s basically him getting angry on stage and falling in love with the word “fuck” after he gets a notice that they have one minute left on stage.
So he gets pissed and starts yelling that he isn’t “[…] fucking Justin Bieber” and that he has been around since 1988 (or something) and, eventually, smashing his guitar before leaving the stage.
Now, the comments on the video I found to be really…juvenile.

“Yeah! Totally punk!”

“Rock and roll Billie!”

“Justin Bieber sucks!!”

…and so forth.
I found it to be quite sad and depressing because well to be quite frank, Green Day should consider themselves lucky to still have fans and be relevant.
I mean, I started to wonder if the comments were written by new fans or actually old schoolers, because it felt like old school fans acting like children.
Maybe that’s because Billie himself acted like a child. Then again, it might have been a somewhat clever promo-stunt since their new three-piece album is called “¡Uno!” since he kept saying in an annoyed state that he only got one minute.
I liked Green Day when I was young but it’s that kind of music that you really do grow apart from. It’s very common that you do because the high-point of the punk-rock genre is in your middle teen years since that becomes a rebellious phase where you try to identify with unfairness and that, basically, “everything sucks”.
And he acted like a spoiled teenager, times change dude, you better go with the flow or else you’re done, nobody cares about the old Green Day anymore since clearly you don’t and refer to the band as “I” and “Me” and it’s just something the irks me that a guy in his 40’s still wears eye-liner.
My girlfriend told me that “well, so does Alice Cooper“. That’s a good argument but his image has always been like that, skulls, snakes, poison etc. He always had a hard-rock/metal kind of look and style.
Billie Joe hasn’t.

Now onto a similar subject and it’s about a person that I have already mentioned;
Justin Bieber also recently got a bit more famous for his faux pas on stage where he throws up.
I don’t know why it was so important for every news site and Youtube title that it was milk he threw up but, ok.
I’m gonna be honest now and say that I don’t have anything against him. He has done me no harm whatsoever and I don’t enjoy his music and my solution for that is to not listen to it.
I know it seems simple but obviously not if one is to take notice of how people react to his “fail” videos or him in general.
They rave and rant about he’s the worst thing that happened to music and how much he should die and meanwhile hardcore fans are defending him as if people are bullying a down syndrome kid.
I hate both sides.
The people who hate him has such an easy solution to their problem but doesn’t use it.
The fans put him up on such a high pedestal that they can’t see past the greatness of him.
Fans of Justin Bieber should really calm down when it comes to him because in all honesty, it’s only a matter of time before he becomes the new “child-star scandal”. I don’t know how old he is but I’m guessing he’s over 19 now and he is a huge pop-star with very few limits when it comes to requests.
So this is why I don’t think it was milk. Papers and sites and even himself can’t keep up the illusion of him being innocent and “that he’s doing it for the fans” forever and I think this is actually a big turning point.
Milk? Yeah maybe. Milk and liquor or cocaine.
The comments fans gave out to the videos and articles where really funny though. Again, defending him to the end of the earth that he actually came back and finished the concert. Yeah, I give credit where credit is due and that was cool of him. But that’s it really.
He wasn’t a hero as the fans try to immortalize him as.
I bet he took he just took another glass of…”milk” and felt strangely energized all of the sudden.

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The Dork Knight Rises.

(I’m the dork by the way)

The new, highly anticipated Batman film is having premiere soon and everyone is very excited as this is Nolan’s last Batman film.
I have actually surprised myself with not watching any of the trailers except the first one and totally blacking out most of the articles and new trailers from that movie because I want to see it with a new perspective. I want everything to be fresh.
I haven’t seen the new Spider-Man movie nor have I even seen The Avengers but I will eventually, it’s not like those movies are gonna disappear.
With Batman however…I really do want to see it as I saw Batman Begins  and The Dark Knight on premiere night.
But…I could barely sit through The Dark Knight. As soon as I go to the cinema I become like this grumpy, 70-year old man.
The seat is uncomfortable, the sound is usually pretty unbalanced and my legs get restless.
I think it all lies in my psyche somehow. Like I almost feel “forced” to watch the movie, you know? I can’t just pause it and go to the bathroom or stretch out my legs and get all smushy and cozy with a blanket.

But that’s not the worst part of going to the cinema for me. It’s the audience, I hate them, they fucking talk, chatter, comment, rummage around in their candy bag or popcorn bucket, they laugh at everything and…GRAAAH! They annoy me.
Here’s an example that happened on The Dark Knight premiere; When the movie starts it’s all black but then it starts to crack, eventually forming the Batman symbol, ok? It has this blue-grey-ish filter and one idiot in front of me says
“Is this movie in black and white?!”
Honestly, I wanted to just get him into a chokehold and just whisper in his ear “It will all be over soon, you did this to yourself…” and then just snap his neck.
Then that infamous scene with Joker’s first appearance where he does his “Magic Trick” with the pencil comes up and he laughed, sure some other people laughed too but, maybe it was because I already hated him, I swear he was the first one to laugh. And that annoyed me, it really did. The audience laughed at pretty much everything Joker did. Yeah he looks like a drunk clown but in this case he’s not meant to be funny and I don’t honestly understand why people laughed at the pencil thing. A guy got a pencil impaled through his fucking eye and (probably) died! It’s not like he got a swift kick in the balls and then a pie in his face and Joker ending it with saying “Hungry Much?” like Jerry Lewis.

I’m pretty sure I’ve dabbled in the following topic before but just to quickly remind you, the reader, my favorite person at the moment. I had a discussion with a friend once and he got upset with me because I don’t enjoy Harry Potter or The Lord of The Ring’s movies because they don’t entertain me. They just don’t. The whole magic, dragons and wizard themes don’t tickle me, it’s as simple as that. Then he shat out the comment;
“Oh what do you know, you only like movies were the guys wear tight spandex suits so you can see everything”
I like to note that this guy likes to watch Ultimate Fighting and MMA fights where half-naked men punch and kick eachother and then spend the rest of the time on a sweaty mat and hug, but that’s neither here nor there.
Yeah I like those kind of movies, superhero themed ones because that’s what entertains me. I grew up reading about them, I had toys, bedclothes, masks, clothes and other stuff with my favorite heroes.  It’s part of who I am and yes that’s both good and bad because I get very critical of the movies based on the comics but I can find only slight non-deal-breaking faults with Nolan’s Batman movies. This is why I’m both excited and sad that it’s ending, but really curious how he will end the legend and I really want to see if my theories and guesses are right. I never saw Batman as a superhero at all though. That’s why I like him. He’s a hero, an icon, a symbol. He’s just as vulnerable as anyone else. He’s a flawed human being.
Super implies something supernatural. A lot of the enemies Batman has are supervillain’s  though because they have un-natural powers such as Clayface, Bane, Poison Ivy and that makes it even more interesting when Batman has to fight them because he’s much more weaker and hopeless in technical terms. I mean if Batman has a superpower it’s easily money. He has a super amount of money.

But that’s not the only reason why I love superhero’s, because they’re a part of me and I read a lot about them as a child (I still do).
I love them for the same reasons I like certain video games more than others; I get to escape to an foreign world that yet seems very familiar.
They’re heroes. We have heroes in the real world, don’t get me wrong there. It’s just not as symbolic as Batman or Green Lantern. Heroes don’t have to wear costumes or have powers to protect people, we have heroes in real life; We have doctors curing people everyday, saving lives. We have police officers that protects the innocent. We have firefighters that rescues people from danger.
How many times have you wished to just take matters in your own hands? How many times have you seen injustice and wanted to do something but maybe couldn’t? Hell, how many times have you just wished to leap home or fly because the bus is late and it’s too far to walk?
Heroes inspire me, they have shaped me, they have taught me things I didn’t necessarily learned in school. I was a victim of bullying a lot in school, mind, I suffered a lot of injustice because the teachers never did anything and I was too weak and afraid to stand up to the bullies and I always found comfort in comics and cartoons with the same themes.

I can’t sow, I wouldn’t even know where to begin on a costume or even a name. I’d probably wear something like Rorschach or how Scarecrow was portrayed in Batman Begins, simple but yet covering my identity completely.
I know that if I acquired supernatural powers I would probably become selfish and use them for myself. I know it sounds odd when I just said that heroes have taught me to do the exact opposite but I’m being realistic (strange choice of words I know). But as much as heroes have taught and shaped me, so have the villains. I’ve always loved the more brainy villains that uses their wit and intelligence to break a person than just brute force. It’s easier to be a villain than a hero because you don’t have to sacrifice as much and you always take the easy way out, well mostly. And I used my evilness a lot in my later school years, I used to cheat on tests and at times steal stuff from the school and toys (etcetera) from those who bullied me or were mean to me that I later traded for another toy with another kid that didn’t even go to the same school. Covering my tracks like a real villain, no paper trail.

I have a hard time really understanding why people would NOT want to watch movies about superheroes.
If one was to just draw a small parallel line between a comic book based movie and like Harry Potter and/or Lord of The Rings I just find it hard to understand why some things are like they are in fantasy-movies. There’s always so much shit going on and you always have to learn a second language and to keep track of all the different races, length of beards, dragons, orc’s, talking trees, silent bushes, magic trains, chattering fruit, magic owls, spells, forks, names, lore and a bunch of other crap.
While in let’s say Spider-Man it’s; young adult gets bitten by radioactive spider, gets powers, uses them for good. I’m not saying comics books can’t get “out there”, I mean, do you know how Spidey originally got the black suit? In the eight issue of The Secret Wars,  Spider-Man damages his costume in combat on Battleworld (which is in a different universe/solar system all together) and is directed to a facility which can provide a new one to him. Before having the chance to recover a new suit, Spider-Man stumbles into the prison module the Symbiote has been trapped in thanks to Reed Richards a.k.a Mr. Fantastic found while exploring the planet. He [Spidey] then activates the machine which releases the Symbiote in the form of a black liquid and it bonds with him almost instantly.
But that won’t happen in movie form for a long time or at all because it’s too far fetched and complicated to make with all the famous superheroes at once although it’s MORE plausible now with the Avengers craze because in The Secret Wars there’s, of course, Spider-Man but also IronMan, Hulk, Human Torch, Nightcrawler, The Thing, Captain America, Hawkeye, She-Hulk, Cyclops, Wolverine and a bunch more. But Secret Wars is stretched out in a 12 issue comic and that would require a shitload of movies to cover only half of the insanity going on and notice that I only mentioned the heroes there.
I simply enjoy the pacing  much more in those kind of movies because they feel familiar to me, they feel right. I understand it.
In fantasy movies it’s bang-on right from the beginning. I’m not saying that radioactive spiders are more plausible than say, dragons…but…they kinda are. Spiders exist, radioactivity and experiments with such exist. Dragons don’t nor haven’t or will.
Being super rich and losing your parents in a mugging isn’t impossible. Getting into shape, read a lot about psychology, anthropology, math, physics, chemistry, putting on a costume isn’t impossible.

This is, of course, only my opinion, and yeah, I am a bit biased when it comes to that front. I just don’t think that saying “But Tolkien invented a whole language” is a valid point. Oddball twins invent their own language. Children invent their own language. I don’t find it impressive. It’s fine if someone is, as me, brought up with those kind of books and have the same bond with them as I have to comics but if you’re gonna dismiss that kind of universe than at least have a valid point and don’t just say “Because Cyclops’ costume looks gay”
It’s the person underneath it that counts.

If this was radio or a podcast I would end this with David Bowie’s “Heroes”
But I can’t because this isn’t…so…

I can remember
Standing, by the wall
And the guns, shot above our heads
And we kissed, as though nothing could fall
And the shame, was on the other side
Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever
Then we could be heroes, just for one day


9 out of 10 would like to have a supernatural ability.

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Young’uns.

I’m getting old.
Not “old-old” though. I’m actually only 25 and yet…I feel old.
When do I feel old? When I observe young people with their trends and way of speaking and behaving. THAT’S when I feel old. Old and angry, very, very angry.

I don’t know what “Swag” is but because I’m an extremely good chameleon of a person, I know how to use it properly. I wouldn’t ever use it seriously though because “Swag” sounds like some sort of itchy disease you get in your armpits.
From what I understand it’s just another word for “cool”. Nothing’s wrong with that word! Let’s stick to it, it’s been around since the 40’s as the more common meaning as we know it today. Cool meant Cadillac’s, leather jackets, Lucky Strikes and calling cute girls for “doll face” and snapping your fingers afterwards.
Now however, I have no clue what cool actually is. I assume that it’s still kind of the same as always; saying that you’re cool makes you un-cool.
There’s this young girl (I assume she’s young because no adult sane person would behave this way)  on, I think it’s Tumblr that posts picture on her self with a caption
“Who needs good grades when you got SWAG?”
and
“Live Fast and Die Pretty”

“Girls don’t want a boy with personality.
They want one with swag”

and my personal favorite, posing with some guy; “Who needs condoms when you got swag?”

I’m not gonna tell you what this persons Tumblr account is because I don’t wanna anyone here to encourage her nor give her hits.
So…if I pretend that I had completely no idea what swag meant or was and I would see those pictures, I would assume that swag is a lifestyle for idiots. It’s something idiots came up with to make their miserable lives seem better.
I asked my friend Google what swag was, not in articles or urban dictionary’s, no. I looked at a more visual evidence, the pictures. Now, call me prejudice all you like, but it really seem to be a hip-hop culture thing, or a black thing.
Oh shit! I got it! I actually think I got it! See, when you check out how swag-people look they usually have “those” glasses. You know which I mean, the Buddy Holly-esque frames. So Swag is black for Hipster? Have I got it? Can a “swag” person contact me for confirmation? Oh and if you do contact me, don’t do a raid with your friends because no one will believe me when I say “My apartment got trashed by 7 guys that looked like André 3000“, ok?

Speaking of. How come has Hipster become like…the new “emo-look”?
I like the hipster look, it’s sharp and makes people look proper. More on some than others, mostly older guys because it usually fits them. They didn’t read some fashion magazine for guys and went “Yes! This is the new look for me!”
But now, as soon as you have a pair of vintage glasses and a mustache you’re a fucking hipster. What if this person doesn’t have money to buy new clothes and can only buy them in second-hand stores? What if he’s so poor he can’t afford to get new glasses? WHAT IF he can’t even afford a razor?
You don’t feel so good now do you?
I laugh though. I laugh at the young kids that has the “hipster” look because they really do look ridiculous to me.
Also I’m not sure a lot of people know what a hipster actually is. Usually the response is “Someone who doesn’t follow the mainstream”
This is true but only to some extent. It’s not like this person goes out of its way just so he or she wont be associated with anything popular. A hipster is someone who perfectly accepts popularity in media and fashion but LIKES to explore further in the subject the person likes and in the end likes what this person discovers more. But automatically gets labeled a “Hipster who doesn’t follow the mainstream”.
And if that’s the new definition then…hell, I’m a hipster too. I like graphic novels. I like the popular stuff a lot but I seem to always find the best novels that aren’t published by Marvel or DC. So that should make me a hipster because I don’t like the mainstream (as much).
I buy most of my clothes in charity shops/second-hand stores. NOT because I wear vintage clothing, but because I’m not a wealthy person and I actually rather like to spend money there because not only does the money go to a good cause but there’s a better range of selections when it comes to shirts, for example.
But hey, hands behind my back, I’d rather have my streets filled with hipster folks than filthy emo gangs any day.

The next popular word these little shits keep throwing around like a jar full of concentrated aids is; Friendzone.
Now, to be fair though, this isn’t a “new” word. But lately it has gotten out of hand. Everything is either Swag or Friendzone.
If you’re not familiar with that word then…well then just spend two minutes on 9Gag.
Friendzone is basically when a guy is really good friends with a girl. Yup. Well usually it’s backed up with that the guy has a secret (mhm…right) crush on the girl and does just about anything for her and the girl treats this boy like a close girlfriend instead of actually getting together with him.
I just don’t understand how people can quickly make a word so meaningless. It’s like…fucking hell, you know if someone posts a picture on Facebook and it’s a boy and a girl and the caption reads “Having ice-cream with my best friend” why does everyone immediately, like heat-seeking mental patients write “Friendzone!”
It really seems like a big step back for social behavior that a guy and a girl can’t be friends anymore if there’s no sex involved. Shit, high-school all over again…but now it’s at home! On a screen! In your own privacy!

I’m mature. Yes that does sound weird; I  play and review games, I read comics, I still watch cartoons, I even have a tattoo of Optimus Prime and I usually have a t-shirt with something comic-book related on. But in my state of mind, I feel mature. I’m soon going to look up courses and try to become a psychologist or a psychotherapeut. I feel that I’m growing as a human being.
I like to party, I know how to have a good time with friends. What I don’t get, however, is when I’m talking to my friend and he interrupts me and says “Daaaamn, check out her ass!”
I have literally no idea how to respond to that. When we were in high-school I would snicker embarrassingly and say “Yeah.” because, you know, hormones and stuff is controlling your body. I could even start giggling at a peculiarly shaped apple.
That was then though!
Hey man, I can appreciate a nice ass and stonking great tits but there’s a finesse to it, a  nudge with your elbow perhaps? You don’t have to interrupt my anecdote because you just saw an attractive woman pass us by. That’s just rude if anything. Like “Oh I’m sorry, am I boring you? Come, let’s go to a strip club and meanwhile I’m sitting there you can loudly describe what you are seeing while I sit there in silence.”
I know what the requested response is though. After my friend points out the behind of the lady I should look and then say, in the same pitch “Awwwhh shieeeeeeetttt!”
But I can’t! I’m not that guy. You can only do that to an ass or a pair of jugs. I wouldn’t be able to say to my friend “Oh maaan! Check out the hair on that one!”
or
“Dude! Check out her eyes! Fuck me, that’s attractive!”
It’s fine if it’s silent, no one is talking or just plain being social because that’s a way of starting a conversation between the people you’re currently with. But not when you’re already talking about something!
Next time one of my friends does that I’m gonna start punching them in the kidneys…or at least sigh loudly.


Myes…quite interesting 

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I put the “Oaf Shin” in “Fashion”

I don’t get fashion.
I don’t get how clothes can be such a discussed subject and how taboo certain commercials are.
I have never understood the mentality behind being a “fashionista”. Hell, I’m not even sure I know what a fashionista even does…or…doesn’t do. Is it like a kitchen appliance?

I was just checking out what other blogs are popular here on WordPress and Bloglovin’ , just to see what my blog might be missing.
Apparently it needs pictures of clothes.  Pictures of models posing in clothes and a text underneath it explaining what the women on the picture are wearing.
More pictures and less text.
This is not how I roll though, because like I mentioned, I don’t get fashion. I don’t know what’s in nor do I feel the need to.
I’m horrible company when someone wants me to go shopping with them.
“-How about this? – It’s a shirt. – Yeah but what do you think of it? – …it’s a blue shirt.”

I don’t see why clothes have such a big impact on our society. I get that people want to look nice and I believe in that people should wear what they find  themselves comfortable in even though that’s bullshit. Because if everyone wore what they thought was comfortable most people would just walk around in sweatpants and a worn out t-shirt or better yet, completely naked, if society was cool with that.
I find it almost… otherworldly that someone can buy a normal buttoned shirt that costs three times more than another, identical one, just because it has a little crest or emblem on the chest. Is it just to show other people you can afford it? Is it so the opposite sex might think “That person is doing well. I’m going to have sex with them.” 
And don’t give me that quality crap. When it comes to a buttoned shirt the only quality should be focused are the buttons, those are the fuckers that go first if anything and it’s not really like they use amazing fabrics on the more expensive shirt either. It’s the label.
But I get that it’s sometimes, or better yet; to certain clothes, a quality issue…but somehow I don’t believe it’s always the truth. People who can afford it don’t buy expensive clothes because of the quality or necessarily that they think something looks nice. They buy it because they can and they need to keep their image. It’s what they should wear.
I’ve seen some of the crap people wear because it’s popular, I don’t know if this applies everywhere but those fur-vests ladies wear? What the fuck was that? It honestly looked like clothes I don’t even touch in games like Skyrim. Who thought that looked good? I find it hilarious though that ladies shave, pluck, rip out, wax and laser away hair on their entire body but their ok with that piece of clothing that in a second gave them a hairier chest and back than Robin Williams.

See here’s my point to it all, I suppose, who decides this? Who decides that a particular look or clothing garment is the new thing to wear? Who makes young girls feel inadequate about themselves? It’s magazines, internet sites and commercials but who decides them? Journalists and fashionistas (am I using it right?) on gala events and runway shows. So it comes back to the designer whom is the culprit?  I think it’s some Illuminati shit going on! But honestly. I can’t believe the power they have. I can’t understand how blind people seem to be when it comes to clothes. Like now the big summer hubbub are bikinis (and rightfully so, I suppose), and I’ve seen some commercials about them and…it’s just a swimsuit with a 60’s design? How is this new? And another one was just…orange.
“-No but it’s peach colored and it has a little gold hoop that keeps the cups together. – It’s orange and you have brain-damage.”

I’d rather go to a second-hand store and buy some shirts there for a much, much better price and the options are much vaster than in normal stores, well, not normal stores. If anything the stores we usually think of as normal are in reality fucking bonkers. Why are there so many themed stores? Those stores that only have one style of clothing in them? Clothing stores that claims to be Rock ‘n’ Roll just because they have skulls on shirts or distressed shirts with AC/DC on them. Where are the I-don’t-really-care-that-much kind of stores?
It’s not like I completely don’t care what I wear, I want to be clear on that. Of course when I open my t-shirt drawer I don’t just grab the first thing and put it on, but at the same time I don’t PLAN what I’m gonna wear like the day before or take forever to decide what I’m going to wear. I wear what I think looks  good on me and I don’t really care where it comes from nor if it’s a famous label. I don’t really have a style either. I’m not gonna say “I have my own style” because I’m not really THAT pretentious. But it can shift a lot during a week. One day I might have an overly-colored band t-shirt, the next I might wear a long-sleeved shirt and a tie, on another day I might throw on a Back to the future t-shirt and a denim shirt over that.

It’s unfortunate but fashion is mostly directed towards women.I know that women are more exposed to beauty ideals and they feel bad about themselves, which truthfully only makes me sad as well because I hate when chicks are so brainwashed by all that sludge of a fashion industry when they are in fact fucking gorgeous. But this applies to men too. not as much, but it does. I feel horrible about myself when I see an underwear commercial, son-of-a-hunk! I mean…bitch. There are commercials for men and magazines and what not but honestly…it’s fucking ridiculous as well. Not that the clothes are weird like animal-vests but it’s mostly just long-sleeved shirts and suits. I don’t see the innovation or at least; the trendyness. I really don’t know what men are supposed to wear nowadays. What’s in or not. And I’m kinda glad that I don’t care either. I mean, it’s not like I start obnoxious arguments with guys that might happen to wear trendy clothes. If they want to spend their money on it then who am I to say otherwise? I’m not their finance manager.

Wear what you want to bro’. But wear it because you want to and feel comfortable in it, not because someone tells you to. Then I do that gun shape with my hand and call him “Daddy-o”
There’s so much in the fashion industry I could bitch about and even stuff I’ve mentioned here that I could talk about on a deeper level but I just don’t have the strength to do it right now so I’d rather do a more researched “Part Two”.

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Talk nerdy to me.

Ugh…

Yeah that’s the positive sound of my blog opening.
When I was a kid I got picked on a lot for being a “nerd”. I didn’t play Dungeons and Dragons or Magic: The Gathering, no. I mostly kept to myself, read comic books, played video games, played with toys and was an easy target with my dorky glasses and dental braces. Yeah I got pushed into lockers and people used to line up just so they could punch me and abuse me verbally. I didn’t listen to the same music as everyone else and I didn’t wear popular clothes. I didn’t have a cool haircut or knew what was cool.

I was a nerd. A dork. A geek.

And I still am.
I’m not socially awkward or can’t take a joke. I don’t piss my pants when girls talk to me nor can I only talk about my hobbies. I can adapt, I could adapt even when I was young, but why should I fake interest to people who don’t like me so they might like me?! I still, at this age, read comics and play video games. I don’t play with  toys but…because I don’t want to lose my identity, I have a few of them in my bookshelf.
Why am I talking about my depressing childhood?

It’s about the fucking “Nerd Culture”. I hate this…
I don’t hate nerds ’cause I am one myself but I hate people who claims being nerds because they might like one thing that’s known as nerdy. People who buy an ironic t-shirt because “it’s nerdy”.
This might come off as sexist but I can only express it how I see it. It’s mostly girls. It’s mostly girls who buy an overpriced Star Wars  t-shirt at a trendy clothing store and say they’re nerdy. Now, now ladies calm down…with your cycles and pregnancies. (Can’t believe I actually wrote that.)
But I’m not saying ALL girls are like that of course. But to put some perspective on this; you never see a guy with a “I [Heart] Nerds” t-shirt.
What gender do you think of when you hear the word nerd anyway? A cute girl with glasses in a Pokémon t-shirt? Or a socially awkward guy with bad glasses, acne and a poloshirt?

This is why I have a problem with this. Being a nerd is suddenly cute and cool. Well it wasn’t when I was a kid so I suppose I still hold a grudge at everyone from my schools. Fucking assholes.
A few months ago I was on the subway and I saw this fairly attractive girl. A fashionista. I could tell she shops at fancier stores. She had a “I Love Nerdy Boys” or an “I [Heart] Nerds” t-shirt on  under her leather jacket. This was only one stop, mind you, and I saw her immediately. And right away, right-fucking-away. I hated her. I don’t know her though so maybe she really likes nerdy guys. But here’s my, much more plausible theory; she likes good-looking guys with glasses.  She likes those kind of guys you see in glasses commercials, you know, it’s the same guys from the underwear commercials only…they have clothes on and wear glasses. It’s the chiselled guys with a 5 o’ clock shadow and dark thick hair.
That’s what she thinks. That’s what qualifies as a nerd to her. Glasses. Not any glasses though, hell no. Expensive, trendy ones is where it’s at.
And this pisses me off, if you can’t tell.
I’d like her to actually meet a nerd, a real one. Or for her to get fucked by this obese 45-year old geek with back cysts who works as a computer analyst in the company basement.

But guys are at fault too. Hey, just because you bought that mustard/green colored shirt in a second-hand store doesn’t make you a nerd. I’m sorry but it’s true. Lately more girls pop up and claim to be nerds and they’re proud of that (as well as guys) and way to go if you actually mean it, or have been for a really long time, because I don’t think you can become a nerd…you’re born as one or you get stuck with that identity in your early years as a child. When you’re older, you just develop hobbies. You don’t evolve to a nerd. You don’t mutate, I’m not even sure why anyone would like to be a nerd. A Real nerd!
Girls who pose half-naked online with video game controllers are not nerds. Girls who pose with knee-high socks, hot pants, glasses and a Mega-Man t-shirt aren’t nerds. Go to a convention. That’s where you can see real nerdy girls.
“Oh but what about those hot girls that cosplay?”
Well to that I say; Really? Are you fucking brain-damaged?
Either they’re there with their boyfriend and want to show off or, again, the more plausible theory; they are models. Not runway ones but those alternative models. They usually have their own Facebook fan-page and a portfolio to match. I mean check out who they usually cosplay as. It’s ok, go check it out, google “hot cosplay”, I’ll wait…
Done? Yeah, notice something? They were slutty ones! Skimpy outfits and tight bodies. So they’re probably there only to make nerds blush and drive them crazy so they can feel better about themselves, knowing that so many guys are gonna jerk off in the hotel shower after the convention but no one will walk up and talk to her ’cause they’re scared.
I know I’ve mentioned it before but sometimes I feel like I see the world for what it is. It sounds like I’m some sort of crazy preacher-cult-man but honestly, it’s what it feel like sometimes.

Nah, screw it!
Bow down to me! Thank your god (whom is also me) for being able to get a piece of my wisdom! Thank the divine spirits (whom…is…me also…) so you can learn to become a better person, a more open-minded soul through my bitterness! Build shrines and pray, pray for more blog entries from me! Do not try to be somebody else! People will love you for who you are!

Or some crap like that.

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Picturebox.

It’s been a loooong time.

November.

I’m gonna dive right into it. People need to chill the fuck out when it comes to Television. I’m not talking censorship or embarrassing shows like “Jersey Shore” . I really hope no alien life form will accidentally tune in to our television satellite frequency and get a glimpse of what people on our planet watch.

I’m talking tv-shows in general. I use to love watching shows on my tv or my computer. I used to love finding new shows, those perfect ones that got cancelled way too early because of ratings. But now…now I’m a bitter old fool so I only use shows like some dirty alcoholic pimp; I don’t watch them, I just use them for background noise when I’m writing.
If one was about to log on to Facebook and ask people for a good show, regardless of genre, you will probably get three examples.

Game of Thrones

The Walking Dead

and…pff…probably The Big Bang Theory.

I’ve tried to watch these shows, I really have.
My ambitiousness goes from top to bottom, I just don’t get them.
See, I’m a comic-book nerd so I’ve read quite a lot from The Walking Dead and while the writing was good I just never really got into it. Why do I think this is worth mentioning? Well if I’m in a group of greasy-page-turners and express that I had a hard time with TWD  and didn’t like it they say “Well ok!”
When I say that around a group of frantic, foamy mouthed fans of the show, I get fucking verbally lynched!

“But it’s so well done! The effects are amazing!”

“The writing and the characters; fantastic!”

“How can you NOT like it?! What do you like anyway, probably Twilight movies!”

Why, whyyyy can’t I not like shows without people pressing the Hipster-button?! I don’t even think The Walking Dead is a bad show, it’s not just as engaging as other shows I’ve seen.
However…you foamy fucking Game of Thrones fans can honestly bungyjump from a bridge whilst having a chain around you throat so you choke on the way down but as soon as the chain reaches its limit, your neck will snap.
People who knows me in real life proooobably know that I’m not much for the whole Middle Ages setting…well, I do want to categorize it in the “Fantasy” genre, I hate that term ’cause MY fantasy is certainly not having to always learn a second language when watching those kinds of films/shows or playing games. My fantasy is to sit in my spaceship, travelling through dimensions and rescuing triple-boobed space whores who can only thank me in one way and it’s a dirty one. My kitchen really is a mess…
I do call it that though among people, not because I want to annoy people but because I don’t always want to explain the whole “Fantasy” thing for everyone, I mean come on, I have to let someone else be funny every once in a while.

“Game of Thrones? Nah, I’m not into the fantasy setting, it’s just not my cup of tea.”

You should see the stares I get when I say that! The arguments I get to listen to. And I always ask; Are there dragons?
Because to me, that qualifies as fantasy setting. It’s the fucking middle ages and if I’m not totally way off, aren’t dragons the central plot in some way? Aren’t there zombies but not really and they are called something racist like “Whiteface”? Isn’t some magic crap happening now in season 2? That’s fantasy. Yes it is. Yah-ha!
Just because there aren’t any elves or epic fights on New Zealand doesn’t it make it less a  fantasy show. I just don’t see why oxygen-wasters feel so offended when I call GoT a fantasy show. It’s more GROUNDED that’s for sure. One thing seems to be clear though and that is that there seems to be a law that every popular fantasy crap apparently needs a short, ugly little mascot. OOHHH Burn! Take that midget lovers!

Let’s move one to a more relaxed and un-serious show. A show that’s beloved by millions. A show with lovable characters and great jokes.
Or so they tell me. I don’t get Big Bang Theory. I really don’t I’ve seen quite a few episodes of it and no, it just doesn’t do it for me. It’s such a typical Chuck Lorre show, it’s simple, easy and you don’t really have to think when you watch it. Some might like that and good for you. I just don’t see the hype around it. And here’s one big reason why I don’t like it
“But you like video games and comic books, you should love that show.”
Why? Because all nerds/geeks/dorks get a long? Fucking please. I like how at times the script seems researched for the show when it comes to the dialogue. The small nerdy stuff  like video game and comic book references (no, not just saying I’m The Flash).
But then they drop the ball, as soon as the dialogue seems real one of them farts out “…oh and let’s not forget Halle Berry as Catwoman as being one of my favourites.”
See this…is just a big no. No actual Batman fan or Catwoman fan can’t actually like that fucking movie nor what they did to the character, so fuck that.
I know it’s just a sitcom and I shouldn’t dissect it…but it’s what I do, I take pleasure in it. It’s my science project.
Here’s my question; why oh why are the three stooges friends with that infuriating character, Sheldon? A friend of mine actually said that he thought that Sheldon was one of the greatest written characters in television history. Dude, stop washing your teeth with scotch and LSD.
He’s a good actor, I’ll give him that, a specially on the count of  all the science lingo he has to memorize in his dialogue. But how can anyone LIKE him? Obviously he’s meant to be annoying and hated, I mean for gods sake even the characters in the fucking show hate him. He’s meant to be hated…oh hey…way to go show.
But yeah, here’s what I don’t get; why are they friends with him? Why do they continue to torture themselves like that?
My Ex told me, and a few others, that Dingleberry #1 is friends with Sheldon because he gets to live in his apartment and it’s…warm or something. But how does that even make remotely sense? They seem to be able to spend a lot of money on expensive gadgets and stuff and doesn’t that Indian guy live by himself? Why can’t they all three live together and cut Sheldon out?

But I get it. Like of course they can’t act too realistic or the show would end in a week. But this is what I hate about simple sitcoms like these, specially Lorre ones. Someone has to either die or call their boss a Jew and then blame it on tiger blood for it to progress. There’s no change in these shows…it’s only an illusion of change. Small, dramatic things happen only to throw you off for a minute or two so it can go back together at the end of the episode. Never a real character growth. And it’s fine for those who like it, I understand it, I tolerate it. I don’t MAKE myself watch any of these shows nor does anyone else.
My point of this all is just I want people to be more open-minded to choices and decisions; I decided that The Walking Dead isn’t a show for me, I decided the Game of Thrones isn’t my kind of show, I decided that The Big Bang theory is total tv trash.
I have decided to watch what I want to watch. I’m not going to fall for hype or peer pressure just because something is popular. And just as well people shouldn’t press the Hipster Button or calling ME close-minded when I don’t agree with their choices of entertainment.

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts. 
Orson Welles

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