It’s been a loooong time.


I’m gonna dive right into it. People need to chill the fuck out when it comes to Television. I’m not talking censorship or embarrassing shows like “Jersey Shore” . I really hope no alien life form will accidentally tune in to our television satellite frequency and get a glimpse of what people on our planet watch.

I’m talking tv-shows in general. I use to love watching shows on my tv or my computer. I used to love finding new shows, those perfect ones that got cancelled way too early because of ratings. But now…now I’m a bitter old fool so I only use shows like some dirty alcoholic pimp; I don’t watch them, I just use them for background noise when I’m writing.
If one was about to log on to Facebook and ask people for a good show, regardless of genre, you will probably get three examples.

Game of Thrones

The Walking Dead

and…pff…probably The Big Bang Theory.

I’ve tried to watch these shows, I really have.
My ambitiousness goes from top to bottom, I just don’t get them.
See, I’m a comic-book nerd so I’ve read quite a lot from The Walking Dead and while the writing was good I just never really got into it. Why do I think this is worth mentioning? Well if I’m in a group of greasy-page-turners and express that I had a hard time with TWD  and didn’t like it they say “Well ok!”
When I say that around a group of frantic, foamy mouthed fans of the show, I get fucking verbally lynched!

“But it’s so well done! The effects are amazing!”

“The writing and the characters; fantastic!”

“How can you NOT like it?! What do you like anyway, probably Twilight movies!”

Why, whyyyy can’t I not like shows without people pressing the Hipster-button?! I don’t even think The Walking Dead is a bad show, it’s not just as engaging as other shows I’ve seen.
However…you foamy fucking Game of Thrones fans can honestly bungyjump from a bridge whilst having a chain around you throat so you choke on the way down but as soon as the chain reaches its limit, your neck will snap.
People who knows me in real life proooobably know that I’m not much for the whole Middle Ages setting…well, I do want to categorize it in the “Fantasy” genre, I hate that term ’cause MY fantasy is certainly not having to always learn a second language when watching those kinds of films/shows or playing games. My fantasy is to sit in my spaceship, travelling through dimensions and rescuing triple-boobed space whores who can only thank me in one way and it’s a dirty one. My kitchen really is a mess…
I do call it that though among people, not because I want to annoy people but because I don’t always want to explain the whole “Fantasy” thing for everyone, I mean come on, I have to let someone else be funny every once in a while.

“Game of Thrones? Nah, I’m not into the fantasy setting, it’s just not my cup of tea.”

You should see the stares I get when I say that! The arguments I get to listen to. And I always ask; Are there dragons?
Because to me, that qualifies as fantasy setting. It’s the fucking middle ages and if I’m not totally way off, aren’t dragons the central plot in some way? Aren’t there zombies but not really and they are called something racist like “Whiteface”? Isn’t some magic crap happening now in season 2? That’s fantasy. Yes it is. Yah-ha!
Just because there aren’t any elves or epic fights on New Zealand doesn’t it make it less a  fantasy show. I just don’t see why oxygen-wasters feel so offended when I call GoT a fantasy show. It’s more GROUNDED that’s for sure. One thing seems to be clear though and that is that there seems to be a law that every popular fantasy crap apparently needs a short, ugly little mascot. OOHHH Burn! Take that midget lovers!

Let’s move one to a more relaxed and un-serious show. A show that’s beloved by millions. A show with lovable characters and great jokes.
Or so they tell me. I don’t get Big Bang Theory. I really don’t I’ve seen quite a few episodes of it and no, it just doesn’t do it for me. It’s such a typical Chuck Lorre show, it’s simple, easy and you don’t really have to think when you watch it. Some might like that and good for you. I just don’t see the hype around it. And here’s one big reason why I don’t like it
“But you like video games and comic books, you should love that show.”
Why? Because all nerds/geeks/dorks get a long? Fucking please. I like how at times the script seems researched for the show when it comes to the dialogue. The small nerdy stuff  like video game and comic book references (no, not just saying I’m The Flash).
But then they drop the ball, as soon as the dialogue seems real one of them farts out “…oh and let’s not forget Halle Berry as Catwoman as being one of my favourites.”
See this…is just a big no. No actual Batman fan or Catwoman fan can’t actually like that fucking movie nor what they did to the character, so fuck that.
I know it’s just a sitcom and I shouldn’t dissect it…but it’s what I do, I take pleasure in it. It’s my science project.
Here’s my question; why oh why are the three stooges friends with that infuriating character, Sheldon? A friend of mine actually said that he thought that Sheldon was one of the greatest written characters in television history. Dude, stop washing your teeth with scotch and LSD.
He’s a good actor, I’ll give him that, a specially on the count of  all the science lingo he has to memorize in his dialogue. But how can anyone LIKE him? Obviously he’s meant to be annoying and hated, I mean for gods sake even the characters in the fucking show hate him. He’s meant to be hated…oh hey…way to go show.
But yeah, here’s what I don’t get; why are they friends with him? Why do they continue to torture themselves like that?
My Ex told me, and a few others, that Dingleberry #1 is friends with Sheldon because he gets to live in his apartment and it’s…warm or something. But how does that even make remotely sense? They seem to be able to spend a lot of money on expensive gadgets and stuff and doesn’t that Indian guy live by himself? Why can’t they all three live together and cut Sheldon out?

But I get it. Like of course they can’t act too realistic or the show would end in a week. But this is what I hate about simple sitcoms like these, specially Lorre ones. Someone has to either die or call their boss a Jew and then blame it on tiger blood for it to progress. There’s no change in these shows…it’s only an illusion of change. Small, dramatic things happen only to throw you off for a minute or two so it can go back together at the end of the episode. Never a real character growth. And it’s fine for those who like it, I understand it, I tolerate it. I don’t MAKE myself watch any of these shows nor does anyone else.
My point of this all is just I want people to be more open-minded to choices and decisions; I decided that The Walking Dead isn’t a show for me, I decided the Game of Thrones isn’t my kind of show, I decided that The Big Bang theory is total tv trash.
I have decided to watch what I want to watch. I’m not going to fall for hype or peer pressure just because something is popular. And just as well people shouldn’t press the Hipster Button or calling ME close-minded when I don’t agree with their choices of entertainment.

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts. 
Orson Welles

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