Talk nerdy to me.


Yeah that’s the positive sound of my blog opening.
When I was a kid I got picked on a lot for being a “nerd”. I didn’t play Dungeons and Dragons or Magic: The Gathering, no. I mostly kept to myself, read comic books, played video games, played with toys and was an easy target with my dorky glasses and dental braces. Yeah I got pushed into lockers and people used to line up just so they could punch me and abuse me verbally. I didn’t listen to the same music as everyone else and I didn’t wear popular clothes. I didn’t have a cool haircut or knew what was cool.

I was a nerd. A dork. A geek.

And I still am.
I’m not socially awkward or can’t take a joke. I don’t piss my pants when girls talk to me nor can I only talk about my hobbies. I can adapt, I could adapt even when I was young, but why should I fake interest to people who don’t like me so they might like me?! I still, at this age, read comics and play video games. I don’t play with  toys but…because I don’t want to lose my identity, I have a few of them in my bookshelf.
Why am I talking about my depressing childhood?

It’s about the fucking “Nerd Culture”. I hate this…
I don’t hate nerds ’cause I am one myself but I hate people who claims being nerds because they might like one thing that’s known as nerdy. People who buy an ironic t-shirt because “it’s nerdy”.
This might come off as sexist but I can only express it how I see it. It’s mostly girls. It’s mostly girls who buy an overpriced Star Wars  t-shirt at a trendy clothing store and say they’re nerdy. Now, now ladies calm down…with your cycles and pregnancies. (Can’t believe I actually wrote that.)
But I’m not saying ALL girls are like that of course. But to put some perspective on this; you never see a guy with a “I [Heart] Nerds” t-shirt.
What gender do you think of when you hear the word nerd anyway? A cute girl with glasses in a Pokémon t-shirt? Or a socially awkward guy with bad glasses, acne and a poloshirt?

This is why I have a problem with this. Being a nerd is suddenly cute and cool. Well it wasn’t when I was a kid so I suppose I still hold a grudge at everyone from my schools. Fucking assholes.
A few months ago I was on the subway and I saw this fairly attractive girl. A fashionista. I could tell she shops at fancier stores. She had a “I Love Nerdy Boys” or an “I [Heart] Nerds” t-shirt on  under her leather jacket. This was only one stop, mind you, and I saw her immediately. And right away, right-fucking-away. I hated her. I don’t know her though so maybe she really likes nerdy guys. But here’s my, much more plausible theory; she likes good-looking guys with glasses.  She likes those kind of guys you see in glasses commercials, you know, it’s the same guys from the underwear commercials only…they have clothes on and wear glasses. It’s the chiselled guys with a 5 o’ clock shadow and dark thick hair.
That’s what she thinks. That’s what qualifies as a nerd to her. Glasses. Not any glasses though, hell no. Expensive, trendy ones is where it’s at.
And this pisses me off, if you can’t tell.
I’d like her to actually meet a nerd, a real one. Or for her to get fucked by this obese 45-year old geek with back cysts who works as a computer analyst in the company basement.

But guys are at fault too. Hey, just because you bought that mustard/green colored shirt in a second-hand store doesn’t make you a nerd. I’m sorry but it’s true. Lately more girls pop up and claim to be nerds and they’re proud of that (as well as guys) and way to go if you actually mean it, or have been for a really long time, because I don’t think you can become a nerd…you’re born as one or you get stuck with that identity in your early years as a child. When you’re older, you just develop hobbies. You don’t evolve to a nerd. You don’t mutate, I’m not even sure why anyone would like to be a nerd. A Real nerd!
Girls who pose half-naked online with video game controllers are not nerds. Girls who pose with knee-high socks, hot pants, glasses and a Mega-Man t-shirt aren’t nerds. Go to a convention. That’s where you can see real nerdy girls.
“Oh but what about those hot girls that cosplay?”
Well to that I say; Really? Are you fucking brain-damaged?
Either they’re there with their boyfriend and want to show off or, again, the more plausible theory; they are models. Not runway ones but those alternative models. They usually have their own Facebook fan-page and a portfolio to match. I mean check out who they usually cosplay as. It’s ok, go check it out, google “hot cosplay”, I’ll wait…
Done? Yeah, notice something? They were slutty ones! Skimpy outfits and tight bodies. So they’re probably there only to make nerds blush and drive them crazy so they can feel better about themselves, knowing that so many guys are gonna jerk off in the hotel shower after the convention but no one will walk up and talk to her ’cause they’re scared.
I know I’ve mentioned it before but sometimes I feel like I see the world for what it is. It sounds like I’m some sort of crazy preacher-cult-man but honestly, it’s what it feel like sometimes.

Nah, screw it!
Bow down to me! Thank your god (whom is also me) for being able to get a piece of my wisdom! Thank the divine spirits (whom…is…me also…) so you can learn to become a better person, a more open-minded soul through my bitterness! Build shrines and pray, pray for more blog entries from me! Do not try to be somebody else! People will love you for who you are!

Or some crap like that.

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