I’m getting old.
Not “old-old” though. I’m actually only 25 and yet…I feel old.
When do I feel old? When I observe young people with their trends and way of speaking and behaving. THAT’S when I feel old. Old and angry, very, very angry.
I don’t know what “Swag” is but because I’m an extremely good chameleon of a person, I know how to use it properly. I wouldn’t ever use it seriously though because “Swag” sounds like some sort of itchy disease you get in your armpits.
From what I understand it’s just another word for “cool”. Nothing’s wrong with that word! Let’s stick to it, it’s been around since the 40’s as the more common meaning as we know it today. Cool meant Cadillac’s, leather jackets, Lucky Strikes and calling cute girls for “doll face” and snapping your fingers afterwards.
Now however, I have no clue what cool actually is. I assume that it’s still kind of the same as always; saying that you’re cool makes you un-cool.
There’s this young girl (I assume she’s young because no adult sane person would behave this way) on, I think it’s Tumblr that posts picture on her self with a caption
“Who needs good grades when you got SWAG?”
“Live Fast and Die Pretty”
“Girls don’t want a boy with personality.
They want one with swag”
and my personal favorite, posing with some guy; “Who needs condoms when you got swag?”
I’m not gonna tell you what this persons Tumblr account is because I don’t wanna anyone here to encourage her nor give her hits.
So…if I pretend that I had completely no idea what swag meant or was and I would see those pictures, I would assume that swag is a lifestyle for idiots. It’s something idiots came up with to make their miserable lives seem better.
I asked my friend Google what swag was, not in articles or urban dictionary’s, no. I looked at a more visual evidence, the pictures. Now, call me prejudice all you like, but it really seem to be a hip-hop culture thing, or a black thing.
Oh shit! I got it! I actually think I got it! See, when you check out how swag-people look they usually have “those” glasses. You know which I mean, the Buddy Holly-esque frames. So Swag is black for Hipster? Have I got it? Can a “swag” person contact me for confirmation? Oh and if you do contact me, don’t do a raid with your friends because no one will believe me when I say “My apartment got trashed by 7 guys that looked like André 3000“, ok?
Speaking of. How come has Hipster become like…the new “emo-look”?
I like the hipster look, it’s sharp and makes people look proper. More on some than others, mostly older guys because it usually fits them. They didn’t read some fashion magazine for guys and went “Yes! This is the new look for me!”
But now, as soon as you have a pair of vintage glasses and a mustache you’re a fucking hipster. What if this person doesn’t have money to buy new clothes and can only buy them in second-hand stores? What if he’s so poor he can’t afford to get new glasses? WHAT IF he can’t even afford a razor?
You don’t feel so good now do you?
I laugh though. I laugh at the young kids that has the “hipster” look because they really do look ridiculous to me.
Also I’m not sure a lot of people know what a hipster actually is. Usually the response is “Someone who doesn’t follow the mainstream”
This is true but only to some extent. It’s not like this person goes out of its way just so he or she wont be associated with anything popular. A hipster is someone who perfectly accepts popularity in media and fashion but LIKES to explore further in the subject the person likes and in the end likes what this person discovers more. But automatically gets labeled a “Hipster who doesn’t follow the mainstream”.
And if that’s the new definition then…hell, I’m a hipster too. I like graphic novels. I like the popular stuff a lot but I seem to always find the best novels that aren’t published by Marvel or DC. So that should make me a hipster because I don’t like the mainstream (as much).
I buy most of my clothes in charity shops/second-hand stores. NOT because I wear vintage clothing, but because I’m not a wealthy person and I actually rather like to spend money there because not only does the money go to a good cause but there’s a better range of selections when it comes to shirts, for example.
But hey, hands behind my back, I’d rather have my streets filled with hipster folks than filthy emo gangs any day.
The next popular word these little shits keep throwing around like a jar full of concentrated aids is; Friendzone.
Now, to be fair though, this isn’t a “new” word. But lately it has gotten out of hand. Everything is either Swag or Friendzone.
If you’re not familiar with that word then…well then just spend two minutes on 9Gag.
Friendzone is basically when a guy is really good friends with a girl. Yup. Well usually it’s backed up with that the guy has a secret (mhm…right) crush on the girl and does just about anything for her and the girl treats this boy like a close girlfriend instead of actually getting together with him.
I just don’t understand how people can quickly make a word so meaningless. It’s like…fucking hell, you know if someone posts a picture on Facebook and it’s a boy and a girl and the caption reads “Having ice-cream with my best friend” why does everyone immediately, like heat-seeking mental patients write “Friendzone!”
It really seems like a big step back for social behavior that a guy and a girl can’t be friends anymore if there’s no sex involved. Shit, high-school all over again…but now it’s at home! On a screen! In your own privacy!
I’m mature. Yes that does sound weird; I play and review games, I read comics, I still watch cartoons, I even have a tattoo of Optimus Prime and I usually have a t-shirt with something comic-book related on. But in my state of mind, I feel mature. I’m soon going to look up courses and try to become a psychologist or a psychotherapeut. I feel that I’m growing as a human being.
I like to party, I know how to have a good time with friends. What I don’t get, however, is when I’m talking to my friend and he interrupts me and says “Daaaamn, check out her ass!”
I have literally no idea how to respond to that. When we were in high-school I would snicker embarrassingly and say “Yeah.” because, you know, hormones and stuff is controlling your body. I could even start giggling at a peculiarly shaped apple.
That was then though!
Hey man, I can appreciate a nice ass and stonking great tits but there’s a finesse to it, a nudge with your elbow perhaps? You don’t have to interrupt my anecdote because you just saw an attractive woman pass us by. That’s just rude if anything. Like “Oh I’m sorry, am I boring you? Come, let’s go to a strip club and meanwhile I’m sitting there you can loudly describe what you are seeing while I sit there in silence.”
I know what the requested response is though. After my friend points out the behind of the lady I should look and then say, in the same pitch “Awwwhh shieeeeeeetttt!”
But I can’t! I’m not that guy. You can only do that to an ass or a pair of jugs. I wouldn’t be able to say to my friend “Oh maaan! Check out the hair on that one!”
“Dude! Check out her eyes! Fuck me, that’s attractive!”
It’s fine if it’s silent, no one is talking or just plain being social because that’s a way of starting a conversation between the people you’re currently with. But not when you’re already talking about something!
Next time one of my friends does that I’m gonna start punching them in the kidneys…or at least sigh loudly.